How to Avoid Toxic Relationships

Are you beginning to see problems or do you keep finding yourself in toxic relationships? The kind of red flags that always seem to surface as an instinct and serve as an irritant to a seemingly great connection? Perhaps you don't recognize the "irritants" as characteristics of a toxic relationship, but you know that something is not quite right. How do you know if you need relationship help? Here's a list of common characteristics so that you are able to recognize and respond appropriately to them.

Selfishness: At first, he appeared to be thoughtful and supportive, but lately getting him to spend time with you has been met with resistance. He was willing to go your favorite places a few months ago, but now he would rather hit the golf course than participate in your life. This could be a red flag in your relationship because it might just reveal that his motive in spending time with you had nothing to do with providing support, but rather in getting his needs met. If this pattern continues, this red flag will exhaust your well of emotion and leave you empty.

Manipulation: He is such a baby when he doesn't get his way! Sound familiar? Consider that he might be manipulating you when he clicks the mute button on his communication for three days. The silent treatment is an immature way to influence a situation and will become an enormous relationship challenge down the road. This red flag will invite frustration and ultimately erode healthy communication between the two of you if it continues.

Control: Have you noticed you are feeling powerless and dismissed a lot lately? Perhaps he has a need to dominate all the decisions which leaves you with no ability to negotiate or find middle ground. Controlling behavior finds expression in many ways, however, it is always designed to eliminate your choice and replace it with demands. This red flag will render you powerless and fearfully dependent if it continues.

Abuse: Have you felt threatened, intimidated, or demeaned? Abusers often blatantly dictate what your choices and decisions will be, and will slowly chip away at your self-worth. If you sense that you might be physically threatened and intimidated at some point, it is wise to consider that you are detecting a red flag of abuse. You should strongly consider leaving the relationship immediately. This red flag has the potential to dramatically destroy your personal well-being and can be fatal in some situations if ignored.

Sadly, these warning signs are often dismissed because responding to them would likely invite heartache as a result of a break-up. However, if we would listen to and proactively respond to the "irritating" jabs of our instincts, the pain of losing a relationship would likely pale in comparison to the pain of enduring the consequences of these damaging realities. You do have a choice.