It's possible to improve your relationship with a controlling wife. Nag, nag, nag. You may have said those words about your wife at one time or another. Your friends may even joke that you are "whipped." The truth is though, that living with a controlling wife can do more than make you feel like you've been put in your place, it can frustrate you, hurt you, and even damage your relationship with your wife.
The fact is that your controlling wife may not realize she is controlling you. For many women managing the house and home is normal and makes them happy to do so. The problems begin when she begins to manage parts of your life as if it's another child or task on her calendar, it can feel meddlesome and in many ways, like she doesn't trust you.
Controlling over time
Many women don't start out being a controlling wife but develop this tendency over time, either because of struggles and stress in a marriage or the natural instinct to take care of things takes over. As much as we'd hate to admit it, many marriages have never been a true partnership; one partner in the marriage becomes the dominating spouse, making them the one in charge of the relationship. People expect it to be the man to take charge and women to be the more submissive partner; when it happens the other way around, your friends and family may find problems with the situation and balk at your role as the submissive partner to a controlling wife.
Improving the relationship with your controlling wife can be hard at first. Your wife may deny that she is controlling you; it doesn't feel that way to her, as she is simply making sure the household runs smoothly. She may also get upset with you. It's important not to back down, but it is also crucial to regain some control in your own life. Talk to her about some of the ways you'd like to have control back. You can help your controlling wife see that she isn't releasing control over you but she is actually creating a partnership between the two of you and helping you regain some responsibility for your own life and the marriage.
You can expect resistance at first from her. Simply be patient and offer suggestions or ask her opinion on what she would like you to be more in control of. If you do ask her and she provides you with some ideas, be diligent in taking over and not slacking off. It will affirm her faith in you that you are serious and that she doesn't need to control you any longer.
Signs of an abusive relationshipare often overlooked in the beginning. Falling in love feels so overwhelmingly good that women dismiss potential problems. You have a tendency to give yourself completely to another person in order to make sure that your partner is happy and committed to you as much as you are to him.
At the root of all trust issues is a past betrayal. No matter how long ago that betrayal occurred, a person will not learn to let others in until she has begun working through trust issues.