Ending a relationship is never easy. Letting go of a bad relationship, however, is even more difficult than you might expect. True, the relationship wasn't healthy, but the lingering effects of that relationship can wreak havoc on a person's sense of worth and emotional stability. What might normally seem like a favorable outcome instead can feel like the end of the world, but it is possible to let go and move on.
A Skewed View
Many bad relationships involve elements of abuse or dependency, whether physical or emotional. As a result, a person at the end of that relationship is different than when it began. It is altogether likely that feelings of self-worth have been tampered with, making her feel as if she is not worthy of love or happiness. In many cases, people have been told by their partners that they are inadequate and will never have anything else as good as that relationship; at the relationship's end, those words still sound like truth.
If a person is going to let go of a bad relationship, it is crucial for you to realize that you truly are worthwhile. Surround yourself with people who know and care about you and explain that you need support in order to be able to move on. Being reminded of your strengths will help you start to build up your sense of self-worth.
Remember the Bad
There is a difference between wallowing in sadness and realizing that your newly-ended relationship was negative. This is a time during which it is crucial to remind yourself of the bad things that transpired.
Was she regularly cruel? Did she distance you from your friends? Was her possessive streak a mile long? Whenever you start to feel heartsick or consider calling your ex for to reconcile, think about the negative qualities that person brought to the relationship. For even more of a shock to the system, think about the negative qualities your ex brought out in you. Remembering the way you grew possessive or angry whenever she was around will make dialing that number much less tempting.
Create a Buffer
Remove mementos of your relationship from your living space. If you can't dispose of these items altogether, at least pack them away in boxes. For the time being, avoid places that make you think of your ex. If you were living together and now you're still living in that space, this is a great time to paint the walls or invest in a new piece of furniture. The point is to focus on your new future, not a skewed sense of the past.
Know That It Takes Time
Letting go of a bad relationship won't come immediately. It might take months to completely let it go. It is important to remember that you can get past this relationship and find happiness. Each day is an accomplishment. Keep your eyes on the prize and you will get there in time.
Signs of an abusive relationshipare often overlooked in the beginning. Falling in love feels so overwhelmingly good that women dismiss potential problems. You have a tendency to give yourself completely to another person in order to make sure that your partner is happy and committed to you as much as you are to him.
At the root of all trust issues is a past betrayal. No matter how long ago that betrayal occurred, a person will not learn to let others in until she has begun working through trust issues.
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