It's true: love can blind us. What this means is that a person may be in a relationship but not see that his or her boyfriend is controlling. The signs of a controlling boyfriend might be right in front of a person, but he or she may not see it if they're blinded by their love. Additionally, one should never discount the power of denial. Most people don't want to believe that something is wrong with their relationship. However, if you do not catch a controlling boyfriend early on, a downward spiral could result in abuse, your isolation and a strained or unhappy relationship.
First, think about how often you see and talk to your friends and family members. One of the most common signs of a controlling boyfriend is that you no longer see anyone but him. Thus, if you no longer have contact with your friends or family members or if you never make plans with them, then the man in your life may be isolating you so that he is the most important person in your life.
Secondly, think about who makes the decisions in the relationship. This goes for everything from what you will have for dinner to where you will go on vacation. If you discover that it is always his decision, then it may be a sign that the relationship is not equal. It's normal to compromise in a relationship, but you should have some say in what happens. He shouldn't have automatic veto power. This is a relationship and not a dictatorship.
When you are on the phone or come home late from work, do you feel as if you have to explain who you were talking to and why you were late? If your boyfriend interrogates you and wants to know every single aspect of your life, right down to the route you took to get home and who you talked to at work, it could mean that he not only doesn't trust you but that he is too controlling. A relationship is about merging two lives, but you shouldn't have constantly explain yourself. If the two of you do not trust one another, then there may be an issue with your relationship.
Signs of an abusive relationshipare often overlooked in the beginning. Falling in love feels so overwhelmingly good that women dismiss potential problems. You have a tendency to give yourself completely to another person in order to make sure that your partner is happy and committed to you as much as you are to him.
At the root of all trust issues is a past betrayal. No matter how long ago that betrayal occurred, a person will not learn to let others in until she has begun working through trust issues.