Coping With the Loss of Trust in Marriage

Coping with the loss of trust in a marriage is not easy. Marriages are built on many things: love, faith, honesty and, most importantly, trust. Many marriages go through rough times when even the strongest relationships are tested and trust is broken. For many couples getting over the loss of trust in a marriage is extremely difficult. You are bombarded with the emotions ranging from sadness to anger over the loss of trust. How you choose to deal with those emotions and whether or not you can focus on the positive aspects of the marriage will weigh heavily on how you cope with the loss of trust you feel.

Emotional roller coaster rides
Depending on what happened in the marriage to cause a loss of trust, you could feel a wide range of emotions. Anger, guilt, numbness, insecurity, jealousy-these are all emotions that can hit you at any time and for weeks, even months and years to come after the trust has been broken. Rather than taking your emotions out on the other person and putting him further on the defensive, explain how the situation makes you feel. A simple statement of your feelings and the reason you feel this way allows him to understand your point of view and see things the way you see them.

Accentuate the positive
If you've been able to talk openly with your spouse about the loss of trust in the marriage, then perhaps you will also be able to work beyond the negative things that happened. Your partner may be trying to win your trust back. While you've been learning how to cope, you may have forgotten that there are many good and wonderful things in your marriage. It's time to turn your attention back to those things that made your relationship with your spouse good. By turning your attention to positive things that he does for you or has always done for you, it allows you to understand that through these hard times he does still care very much for you.

Of course if you and your spouse are not coping well with the loss of trust, you can always consider counseling. Depending on what has happened in the relationship, it may be beneficial to the both of you to seek out a neutral party that can help you through the emotions and frustrations that are associated with a loss of trust in a marriage. 

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