Moving forward after an affair can be a difficult prospect. It will take time for hurt feelings to heal and to rebuild trust. Surviving infidelity may mean staying together as a couple, or it might mean letting go and moving on separately.
The way you approach the aftermath of infidelity will depend on whether you were cheated on or you were the one who cheated. The way you move forward after an affair may also be influenced by the length of your relationship and whether you have children together.
If you were the one who was cheated on, it will take time for you to trust your spouse again. You are likely to feel rejected and suspicious of your partner's feelings for you. Even if you were aware of previous problems in your relationship, remember that the affair was not your fault.
When coping with the pain of an affair, you have to decide if you will be able to forgive your partner and move on together. Trying to stay together for the children, or to make someone else happy, rarely works. You may not know what you really want until after the initial pain and anger has passed. Some relationships survive infidelity, but sometimes the trust cannot be rebuilt and both people will be happier apart.
If you were the one who cheated on your partner, your first step is to take responsibility for your actions. It will take time and patience to rebuild the trust you have broken, and it is your job to help your partner get over the pain you have caused.
Your feelings of guilt may be difficult to bear, but you will have to be patient until your partner can begin to trust you again. If your partner is unable to forgive you and move forward, you may both be happier if you let each other go.
Couples often need professional help when moving forward after an affair. A counselor who specializes in couples therapy can help you both work through your feelings and find out if your relationship will be able to survive the infidelity.
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