Relationships: Moving Forward After an Affair

By: Susan Quilty

Moving forward after an affair can be a difficult prospect. It will take time for hurt feelings to heal and to rebuild trust. Surviving infidelity may mean staying together as a couple, or it might mean letting go and moving on separately.

The way you approach the aftermath of infidelity will depend on whether you were cheated on or you were the one who cheated. The way you move forward after an affair may also be influenced by the length of your relationship and whether you have children together.

If you were the one who was cheated on, it will take time for you to trust your spouse again. You are likely to feel rejected and suspicious of your partner's feelings for you. Even if you were aware of previous problems in your relationship, remember that the affair was not your fault.

When coping with the pain of an affair, you have to decide if you will be able to forgive your partner and move on together. Trying to stay together for the children, or to make someone else happy, rarely works. You may not know what you really want until after the initial pain and anger has passed. Some relationships survive infidelity, but sometimes the trust cannot be rebuilt and both people will be happier apart.

If you were the one who cheated on your partner, your first step is to take responsibility for your actions. It will take time and patience to rebuild the trust you have broken, and it is your job to help your partner get over the pain you have caused.

Your feelings of guilt may be difficult to bear, but you will have to be patient until your partner can begin to trust you again. If your partner is unable to forgive you and move forward, you may both be happier if you let each other go.

Couples often need professional help when moving forward after an affair. A counselor who specializes in couples therapy can help you both work through your feelings and find out if your relationship will be able to survive the infidelity.

Related Life123 Articles
Cheating doesn't necessarily have to mean the end of a relationship, but the level of your trust in relationships will change.
If there has been a betrayal in a relationship, trust is sure to be affected. Still, a mistake doesn't have to spell the end of a relationship. Building trust isn't always easy, but it is possible.
Frequently Asked Questions on Ask.com
More Related Life123 Articles
Many relationship trials are easily worked through, but that is not the case when it becomes necessary to decide between surviving infidelity or ending the relationship.
Having an extramarital affair is the most damaging thing anyone can do to a marriage. Still, everyone knows couples who stay married in spite of a partner's affairs, or even b...click here for more.
If you're the other woman, you need to think about the goal of the relationship you have with someone who's taken.
Trust issues in relationships can wreck an otherwise healthy match, but these tips can help you look at your mate in a new way.
Many relationship trials are easily worked through, but that is not the case when it becomes necessary to decide between surviving infidelity or ending the relationship.
Although an emotional affair does not necessarily involve sex, it could still be harmful to your marriage.
There is a chance that a couple can survive dealing with infidelity in their relationship.
In order to rebuild trust in marriage, you need to learn how to get through or get over it.
When trust has been broken, it can be hard, even impossible, to recover. Coping with the loss of trust in marriage is a difficult time fraught with tension and potential pitfalls.
Answers Partner Sites: Ask Answers  |  Kids Answers  |  Ask How-To  |  Reference Answers  |  Life123 Answers  |  GardenandHearth Answers
Partner Sites: Insider Pages  |  MerchantCircle  |  Urbanspoon  |  Ask Kids  |  Thesaurus
© 2012 Life123, Inc. All rights reserved. An IAC Company