Everyone must deal with the effects of stress. Married couples, and especially married parents, have even more than singles. Stress comes from all directions-money, work, taking care of children, health, transportation, scheduling and extended family. Stress can cause little annoyances to feel bigger and more important than they otherwise would have. Stress and depression can also be a volatile mix that can also make it harder to deal with all of the little problems that arise throughout the day.
Here are some tips to help married couples avoid taking stress out on each other.
Be a team. Acknowledge that the issues that cause stress are affecting both of you, and face them together. Problem-solve money issues as a team, and avoid blaming either person for the problems. No matter who may be "at fault," the problems will be better solved by working together, and this will make the marriage stronger, rather than weaker.
Relax together. Find time for stress relief together, such as a quiet, romantic dinner with no talk of problems allowed; sitting outside together on a warm evening; giving each other backrubs or foot massages, or doing yoga. Doing these things together can both release stress and also strengthen the bonds between you.
Exercise together. Take a walk together, or enroll in an exercise program together. Exercise helps reduce stress and enhances overall wellness. Doing this together also gives your marriage additional shared experiences. You can encourage each other as well, which is also good for the relationship. Don't worry about a gym membership or the cost of a class. Even an "8 Minute Abs" workout video on the Web or walking around the block together will accomplish the same goal for free.
Take a break. If you find yourself annoyed by every little habit of your spouse, before nagging or complaining, take a break. Whether this means taking a walk alone, taking a hot bubble bath, snuggling up with a book for the evening or getting out to a coffee shop for a while, get away to get some perspective. Most likely, the things that are annoying you are not your spouse, but it's easier to focus on that than the real issues. Think of the reasons you love your spouse, and focus on the things you love about him or her while you take a break.
Remember your basic bond. The marriage bond is built on a foundation of love for each other. No matter how stressful life can be, trust that the love is always there and everything will feel easier. Remember to say "I love you" every day, and also to say "thank you." These simple gestures help remind both of you of the simple fact that no matter what the stresses are, the love is there. Knowing that, and remembering it, can make problems feel easier to deal with.
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 | It is normal for a person to work hard at a job, but there's a fine line between working hard and becoming a workaholic. If your partner is a workaholic, your relationship could end up being affected because he or she will have less time and energy to focus on you and the relationship. If you can spot the warming signs of workaholics, you can talk to them before things get out of hand. |
If you and your partner are talking about the television shows you want to watch and when, you can negotiate control of the remote control without throwing it or slamming the door. |
Don't give up hope of him ever doing chores: There are a number of strategies to use to help inspire your husband or boyfriend to pick up a mop or take out the trash. |
