Going from separate residences to living together in a new home is a major shift for any relationship. Expect many ups and downs as the two of you get used to each other. Respect of personal space, a spirit of fairness and connections to family and friends will help ensure that you will have more ups than down.
Quality Time
Just because you live together, you don't have to spend every waking moment together. Remember to give your loved one space in your new home. They may not always feel like talking or doing everything together.
When you are in a relationship, you want to engage and interact, but you do not want to spend too much time with one another. You may love your partner, but you don't need to ask them what they're doing every few minutes. Sharing a new home is about making sure you each have enough mental and physical space.
Think about designating special times or moments for quality time. For example, if you both work throughout the week, why not designate a day of the weekend for dates? When you live together in a new home, you can forget to do things that aren't related to errand-running or work. Establishing quality time will help the two of you remember why you moved in together in the first place.
Additionally, make the small moments in your new home count. When you and your loved one sit down for dinner, do it minus outside distractions like the television, and that includes turning off your cell phones. Regular meal times help build and cultivate a relationship because they give you face time with your partner.
Chores
Part of living together in a new home is figuring out how each of you will share in its upkeep. Make sure to divvy up all aspects of this process: If someone feels as if they are doing more work than the other person, this can fester like a blister and pop.
Make sure the two of you sit down before moving into your new home and decide upon your household duties. Think about setting up a chore chart or list somewhere in the home; this way, the two of you will always know what needs to be done and can communicate about how to get it done.
Be sure to be honest about your personalities and what you do and do not like. You can incorporate your loved one's preferences into dividing the chores of your new home. For example, if one of you hates cleaning the bathroom but doesn't mind doing the dishes, think about adapting these preferences into the routine of your new home.
As you're setting up, evaluate how the space of your new home is used. You and your loved one should organize and decorate together. Additionally, each of you should be conscious of how much stuff you bring into the home. If one of you has more furniture than the other, consider streamlining this and buying some together. You and your partner should both feel as if you have equal ownership of your new home.
For chores like laundry and dishes, create a system where you alternate days or weeks. Again, you want to share in the upkeep of your new home, and no one should be doing more work than the other person. Also take into account how to handle situations in which you or your partner have an obligation that prevents you from finishing a chore. A get-out-of-jail-free program or chore coupons can help keep the schedule from becoming too rigid.
Money matters should also be hashed out as soon as possible. Think about how to divide bills from the start to avoid potential conflicts. Additionally, keep your finances separate, and create a budget that is in line with both your incomes and expectations. A proper financial system will help keep money from negatively affecting your relationship.
Communication In and Out of the Home
It's easy to lose touch with people, but you want to make sure to stay in contact with friends and family and spend time with them. Plan on having friends and family over. You want this space to be one that bridges your lives: This includes spending time with friends and family both together and individually. Think about having a housewarming party for your new home and some sort of recurring activity, such as game nights or potlucks, that will keep your friends and family involved in your life.
Living together in a new home can enrich your relationship. However, if you do not talk regularly, living together can intensify your relationship's arguments or disagreements. Make sure to express even the smallest of concerns. You don't want to plant the seeds for future conflicts.
Remember that it's normal for you be annoyed with your partner from time to time. One argument doesn't mean your relationship is over. However, you need to be able to communicate your annoyances, make light of them and process them with friends and family. The ability to talk through your problems is why having an outside support network of people is so important. They can keep you sane as you transition into your new home.
Though you may have annoyances with your loved one, you want to be conscious that you do not nag or pick on them too much. It may take your partner more time than you to do the dishes, but this does not mean you should correct them or take over the task. Part of melding two lives together in a new home is accepting that the two of you may do things differently and that this is more than okay.
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