What to Look for in a Marriage Counselor

By: Lisa Bower

Finding the right marriage counselor for you, your spouse and your relationship can be difficult. You want to work with a qualified marriage counselor with whom both you and your loved one feel comfortable. When looking for a marriage counselor, make sure to ask questions and trust your gut instincts. If you don't feel comfortable around a counselor, chances are you should go with someone else.

Hire a marriage counselor who has a positive outlook for you and your marriage. You don't want to choose a counselor who thinks your marriage is doomed. Presumably, you and your spouse are going into marriage counseling to fix any problems you have. A good counselor will be fair and won't seem to take sides when talking with you and your partner. A marriage counselor should be a facilitator; they should not try to place blame. Instead, they should ask questions and offer productive suggestions for the future.

A marriage counselor should be licensed and should have specialized training depending on your situation. Ask questions about the counselor's past experience and background. Then ask how they would solve certain problems. You may need to meet with several counselors before you find the right choice, and you shouldn't feel forced into making a decision right away.

Make sure that your spouse participates in the marriage counselor search. You should both agree on the counselor, and you should both feel comfortable talking with this professional. After all, chances are that the two of you will have to divulge intimate details about both yourselves and your marriage, so you need to talk to someone you trust.

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