There are several misconceptions about arranged marriages, generally because opinions on the subject are formed by the movies and sensationalized in the media. While there are different levels of arranged marriages throughout the cultures of the world, from quite restrictive to quite free, the majority of modern arranged marriages are created with love and concern for the two young people.
Geography
Arranged marriages are most popular in certain Asian countries, such as Japan, China, India and Bangladesh; Muslim countries, such as Indonesia, Afghanistan, Iraq and Iran; and by immigrants from those countries to Western nations. For example, in England, Australia and the United States, people with cultural ties to such countries often work out arranged marriages in their communities.
How It Works
An arranged marriage typically begins when a young man or woman reaches marriageable age. Their parents and extended family seek out potential mates based on a career, status, looks, income, family background and hobbies. Because the parents know their child so well, they are in a good position to evaluate potential spouses and place emphasis on what is the most important in a marriage. Children are obedient and respect the parents' wisdom and discernment.
The young man and woman are introduced and spend time together, although they are accompanied by an escort or chaperone. They get to evaluate their compatibility and comfort level with each other. Families consider an arranged marriage as beyond two people joining, rather it is viewed as two families joining. Most modern arranged marriages allow either the man or woman to veto the family's choice and move on to another selection.
Do They Work?
Westerners strongly feel that marrying for love is the only reason and that there is something barbaric or at least backwards with arranged marriages. However, with higher than ever divorce statistics for Western marriages, Western marriage advice doesn't seem to be working particularly well. Proponents of arranged marriages say that the relationship starts out stronger because the focus is on intimacy, conversation and shared values rather than passion, poor communication skills and mismatched personalities. Statistics seem to back up the success rate of arranged marriages, as divorce rates are significantly lower than Western-style marriages. However, those in an arranged marriage traditionally choose to work through any problems in the marriage with the help of family members rather than consider divorce as an option.
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