Here are some easy romance tips to put the spark back in your relationship. Sometimes romance just takes a little work.
Where to Start?
First, take stock of your marriage. Ask yourself where it stands, how did you get to this point and what happened? Is it normal stuff like stress, time, being tired, work schedules and dealing with the kids that have just sapped the energy from you and your marriage, or is it something else, something deeper and more serious? Anger, betrayal, resentment?
Do you have issues with your spouse that need to be resolved, or have your own feelings gotten in the way? Either way, you need to work it out, together or by yourself. You can't bring the romance back until you get over whatever killed it in the first place. To get back on track for romance, you have to get over the past, get rid of your hang ups and just simply let go.
Try talking calmly to each other without fighting. Start a journal to pour all your thoughts and feelings out. Try therapy for yourself or as a couple. Marriage counselors can offer insight into your issues and give you a chance to look at your relationship through unbiased eyes.
Take care of the dirty laundry. Literally. Pick up your dirty laundry, put the toilet seat down, take out the trash or stop doing all the crazy little things that annoy your partner.
After a hard day at work, plus stress, money issues, the kids, you don't want to work at home; you don't want to deal with anything else. You just want to hang out, get comfortable and vegetate, right? Unfortunately, to make your marriage work and work well, you actually have to work at it. You have to put a little effort into showing the person you live with that you love them, respect them and care about their feelings.
The littlest, repetitive things can drive someone insane and drive a wedge between the two of you. Is she sick and tired of picking up your socks? Have you absolutely had it with being the only one who picks up the garbage? Try doing what you are always nagged at or yelled at about. It might reduce some stress and take away some resentment.
Sometimes you just have to start all over. Woo her all over again. Seduce him with your charm. Fall in love all over again. Bring back the romance by doing the things you once loved doing together or by trying something completely new. It can be as simple as checking out that new restaurant that opened up or going roller skating like you used to do. Take a fun class together, like dancing or even an art class. Whatever you choose, bring out your fun and creative sides. When you spark the creative process in any area of your life, it will affect all other areas.
Spend time together on a regular basis. Send the kids off to grandma's, or hire a babysitter at least one night a week. As trite as it may sound, set up a date night. Some of the most successful couples have regular date nights. And they aren't complaining about the romance lacking in their relationships at all.
Shower Each Other with Love
After a while, we tend to forget to let the most important person in our life know that we still love and cherish them, so practicing these romance tips can help. Make an extra effort to do so. The simplest things like regularly saying "I love you" to calling them up and telling them you just wanted to hear their voice can do a lot for a marriage. Leave love notes in pockets, briefcases and lunch bags. Even send love text messages to bring back that fun and romantic giddiness. Try writing a love poem, creating a card or making a special gift. By putting yourself into it, they will see how much they mean to you.
If you are strapped for cash, buy special little presents from a simple, single rose to a bottle of perfume or cologne. Just try not to overspend because nothing will kill the mood like money trouble. And make sure the gift is something meaningful. If she loves books, get her the latest book by her favorite author. If he loves a sports team, buy him tickets for the next game.
Gifts brighten anyone's day, especially gifts for no special reason at all. Everyone has their own ideas of romance, so find out what says romance to your spouse and make it happen.
If All Else Fails
If nothing above seems to work and the romance hasn't sparked back up, try harder if you want to make it as a couple. Communicate, communicate, communicate, and always make time for each other. If you haven't already tried it, head to therapy, seek counseling and get marriage advice. If that isn't your style, at least give therapy in a book a chance. A few good books include Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships by David Schnarch and How to Stay Lovers for Life: Discover a Marriage Counselor's Tricks of the Trade by Sharyn Wolf.
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