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Article ID: 43793
Title: Can You Overcome Cheating in Marriage?
By: Aysha Schurman

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Can You Overcome Cheating in Marriage?

Dealing with cheating in marriage is a difficult situation that usually results in divorce. There is a very important trust broken when someone cheats. It takes real work and determination to build that trust up again, which is something many couples choose not to do.

If both of you want to truly save your marriage, it is possible to overcome cheating. However, it may take some time, effort and marriage counseling before things start to heal. It’s also important that both of you want to remain together for each other, not for financial or family reasons. If the love between you is gone and you’re staying married for other reasons, the relationship is doomed to failure.

Mourning Process
Though it may sound silly, dealing with cheating in a marriage can be similar to mourning the death of a loved one. In both situations, a primary part of your basic reality has suddenly changed for the worst. Both deal with the death of something or someone you held dear.

If you plan on overcoming cheating in a marriage, it’s important that both of you understand the mourning phases. The process will involve disbelief, anger, sadness, rationalizing and hopefully acceptance or forgiveness. Unfortunately, many people never pass from the anger and sadness phase, which is another reason divorce often results.

Big Questions
If you’re trying to decide if your marriage can overcome cheating, there are some tough questions you and your spouse are going to need to think about. Though other people can help, the basic choice to stay together can only be made by the two of you.

To decide if your marriage can overcome cheating, you both must question if the marriage is worth saving, if you actually want to save it, if you’re both willing to work hard to save it and you still feel love for each other. The two of you must also understand what caused the cheating, resolve the issue, trust it will not happen again and be able to move forward.

Marriage Help
Overcoming cheating in a marriage usually requires some help for most couples. This help may be sought in the form of marriage counseling from a therapist or religious official. Marriage counseling may also be sought in video or book form, though seeing a live counselor who can play mediator tends to work best. It may also help for each of you to seek some form of personal counseling.

Even if you choose not to seek counseling, there are a few things any couple trying to overcome cheating will need to work on. Both of you will need to work on your communication and conflict-resolution skills, as the emotional impact of cheating can often cause problems with these issues. You will need to re-build your relationship from scratch while remaining completely open and honest with each other.