Why Marriages Fail

Understanding why marriages fail is a complicated task. Every marriage is different and can have slightly different reasons for failing. Nevertheless, the most common reasons for a failed marriage are communication and commitment problems.

The problems that cause a marriage to buckle and fail can usually be found in the beginning of the relationship. Patterns and habits are formed between the couple that eventually lead to big problems. These patterns can be hard to break and usually require some sort of marriage help, such as counseling, to be successfully altered. Without help, the problems will tear the marriage apart.   

Communication Problems
Learning how to effectively communicate with your spouse is one of the most important relationship skills to possess. If two people cannot express their feelings and desires to one another, there is simply no way they can build a life together. Though marriage counseling can often help teach communication skills to spouses, it only works if both people are willing to learn the skills.

Communication problems can be unintentional, such as an inability to express feelings, or they can be intentional, such as a complete refusal to express feelings. Regardless of the exact reason, these issues often manifest as passive communication and conflict resolution problems.

  • Passive Communication. Many communication problems found in a marriage result in passive communication instead of active communication. Passive communication means the spouse who is supposed to be listening is actually thinking about their own response, jumping to react or letting their mind wander. Active communication means the spouse is actively listening and keeping their mind focused on the message while observing verbal and physical signals.
  • Conflict Resolution. Communication problems include a lack of conflict resolution skills, another common problem in marriages that fail. A lack of conflict resolution skills means that a couple never truly resolves any issues, allowing everything to fester and grow until the marriage falls apart.

Commitment Problems
Commitment problems are a big part of why many marriages end in failure. Though the issue can include infidelity, cheating is not the only type of commitment problem found in marriages. The general problem includes a lack of physical, emotional or mental commitment to the relationship. Basically, it means that someone is not committed to doing the thing necessary to have a successful marriage.

A spouse or spouses that rather spend time at work, with friends or on a hobby are placing their marriage at a low priority. For whatever reason, they are avoiding the basic relationship, which results in the couple growing apart and letting the love die from neglect. Commitment problems can also mean an inability or unwillingness to follow through with planned actions, such as how to spend money or discipline children.

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