Second marriages may lead to the dread of fielding questions about your new relationship. To make this transition easier, you'll want to follow these tips for announcing your second marriage to friends, family, coworkers and children.
Be Considerate of Other People's Feelings
Couples need to tailor their method of announcing second marriages to an audience. If you are telling young children who are still reeling from your divorce or the death of your first spouse, you will need to be extra gentle and careful, explaining your new relationship in age-appropriate terms. If you are talking to your older children who seem to like your new spouse-to-be, you can be more upbeat and casual. Before each encounter, think through the likely emotional response of the person and try to figure out what delivery of the news will be most positive, kind and considerate for that specific person.
Expect and Overlook Awkward or Inappropriate Responses
You need to keep in mind that while your second marriage is no surprise to you, the news may be quite shocking and disturbing to some of the people in your life. Be prepared for awkward moments, inappropriate comments and upsetting responses from those who may be emotionally affected by your choice to remarry. You won't be able to anticipate all the reactions you will see, so go into each discussion with care. Do your best to handle unpleasant or awkward responses with grace and poise.
Be Prepared to Deflect Personal Questions
Unfortunately, some people see second marriages as a chance to ask personal questions. Be ready with simple, inoffensive lines that will deflect questions of a personal nature and excuse you from any discussions that may feel invasive. Be careful to speak kindly about your ex or your deceased spouse. Walk the line of protecting your new relationship while honoring the old relationship, even if the relationship failed.
A second marriage isn't going to work if both parties aren't committed to seeing it through. If either of you have a previous marriage, there are going to be times when your past is going to affect how you react to an issue. Working through the problem and getting advice from a third party are the keys to handling these situations successfully. |
If it's the second marriage for both of you, you will now have to deal with one another's exes. This doesn't have to mean that you end up in scratching or screaming fights or that you have to spar on a regular basis, but it does mean that you should be prepared for what to expect when it comes to such interactions. |
Although the heart of the ceremony is the same, second wedding etiquette varies slighty from the rules of propriety for a first marriage. |