The question, popped. The proposal, accepted. The ring, bestowed. Now it's time to spread the news that you're about to get married. Sharing your engagement announcement seems like a breeze, but you and your partner need to discuss who to tell and how to tell them.
Who to Tell
After you and your partner have decided to marry, the next step is to tell your friends and family. You can share the news of your wedding in many ways, but you and your partner should take time to decide who should find out first.
Most people choose to inform close family members and friends in person or over the phone. If you have children, they should be some of the first people you tell. Your and your partner's parents should be told as soon as possible. Tradition dictates that the bride's family should be told first, but you do not have to follow this rule. What's most important is getting the parents of both families in touch.
Next, you should tell your grandparents, siblings and other relatives with whom you are in close contact. Finally, close friends should be told.
If you are concerned that someone you love will not approve, for any reason, don't put off telling them. Contact those family members, one on one if at all possible, and talk to them openly about their concerns.
In any case, if you do not take an active role in spreading the news, your friends and family may hear about it from someone else, and this could result in hurt feelings. Your engagement is something to celebrate. Don't let it be a source of upset.
How to Tell
One of the most traditional ways to say you're engaged is through the newspaper. Newspaper engagement announcements were especially popular before the invention of the television and the Web, and they are still widely used for wedding announcements.
If you decide to use a newspaper, contact their office to ask about guidelines, deadlines and cost. Additionally, decide whether or not you want to include a photograph. If a newspaper has no or vaguely worded guidelines, traditional etiquette rules state that an engagement announcement should include information about you and your partner, such as your schooling, career and where you live. Also include your parents' names and their hometowns, and the date and location of the wedding. If you haven't determined the date or location, then provide the general time of year. Consider running two newspaper announcements if you no longer live in your hometown.
Another way to spread the news is to send out engagement announcement cards or save-the-date cards, which tells friends and family about the event and so they can, as the card's name suggests, save the date. Early on, you may not know where the event will be held or other specifics, but a save-the-date card is a courtesy for your future wedding guests.
Party Options
You may want to tell your friends and family in person. One way to do this is to hold a party or get-together to mark the occasion. This event can be formal, or it can be as informal as a backyard barbecue. Your friends and family may want to be involved in hosting this event: If you plan on telling a few people before the event, bounce party ideas off them.
If you choose to announce your engagement at a party or get-together, be sure that you haven't invited anyone to the event who will not be invited to the wedding. You want to avoid hurting someone's feelings.
Using the Web
You can create a Web site dedicated to announcing your engagement and keeping guests informed about your plans. Many wedding-themed Web sites offer easy-to-design personal pages.
A personal site might be a good choice to inform friends and family who do not live near you. Also, some people may not have or use computers, so keep this in mind. If you are announcing your engagement online, be sure to send the news using at least one other format.
Even more informal than announcing your engagement through a Web site is to do so through e-mail. E-mail is generally acceptable for friends who live far away and for acquaintances, but they will appreciate it if you follow up with something more formal.
What to Expect Afterwards
Be prepared for people to congratulate you and ask questions. Many people will want to know how the engagement happened (who proposed, where, etc.) and what you are planning for the wedding. Discuss your answers with your partner so you can agree on what to tell friends and family.
Remember that, if you decide to announce your engagement in person, timing matters. It's considered rude to announce big news at someone else's event or wedding; you don't want to take the attention away from them.
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