There's more to planning a wedding than just proper wedding invitation etiquette, though it is one of the most important items. The modern wedding is one of the biggest events in a woman's life. As so many traditions and customs of the past slip away to be replaced by modern convention, the wedding is still one of those events that demand doing things with proper etiquette, from invitations to who pays for the wedding rings. Wedding etiquette for the bride goes much farther than remembering to send thank you notes.
Attitude
Avoid turning into a dominating and selfish bride by demanding to have your own way and terrorizing those around you with wedding talk. This phenomenon is known as "bridezilla," and becoming a bridezilla is a quick way to break every wedding etiquette rule there is. Be the graceful and calm bride you want to be, and accept help from friends and family so you don't get frazzled or forgetful by the time your wedding day arrives.
Avoid being bossy or demanding when it comes to your bridal party. While they are there to escort you through this special time, they are not personal maids. Some dominating brides have asked bridesmaids to run errands for them, host multiple bridal showers and cater to their every whim. Be grateful for the friends you have, and don't alienate them by being unreasonable. Always remember to thank everyone sincerely every step of the way.
Invitations
There are lists and lists of things to do and don't do when it comes to wedding invitations. Make sure that you spell everything correctly on the invitation and that all the information about the ceremony is correct. Include who is hosting (usually the bride's parents), the invitation itself, the names of the bride and groom, the day, date and time, and the venue.
Also, never include any information on the invitation that refers to gifts, such as a wedding registry or that you prefer cash. It's up to friends and family members to spread the word regarding your preferences.
Ceremony and Reception Etiquette
Weddings and receptions have come a long way and just about any style, format and level of formality is acceptable. However, a few rules of wedding etiquette for the bride still stand.
Remember to keep your guests in mind. While this day is to celebrate your marriage, it's your responsibility as the hostess to look out for your guests' comfort. When you think about food, music, seating and even the time and date, envision what will work best for the greatest number of guests. Be aware of transportation and time issues; you don't want to get married at 11:00 am and hold the reception at 6:00 pm with nothing to do in between.
It's a longstanding tradition that the bride and groom greet guests personally at some point, whether this is via a reception line or if you and your husband circulate around the reception venue and make stops at every table. Never make guests pay for anything at the reception, and that includes a cash bar. If you are concerned about the budget, limit the food and alcohol choices or consider reducing the number of people on the guest list. Finally, never open gifts at the reception; it's considered the height of rudeness.
Bridal Party Gifts
The bride is responsible for presenting a token of her gratitude and appreciation to the members of the bridal party. The attendants should not expect gifts, but it would be poor wedding etiquette for the bride to skip this important gesture. Generally, the maid of honor would receive a slightly more personal or costly gift than the bridesmaids. Classic gifts include necklaces, bracelets, spa gift baskets and gift certificates.
Thank You Notes
Handwritten thank you notes are a must, and they should go to everyone, from bridal shower guests to those who traveled from out of state to share your happy day. Make sure you keep track of who gave you what, and mention the gift personally and how you plan to use it. If you have a bridal shower, you can ask one of the bridesmaids to take notes on the gifts you received and who gave them. This list will make sending thank you notes much easier. Thank you notes should be sent out within 30 days after you return from your honeymoon.
Who Pays for What?
Centuries ago, the bride's family was expected to provide a dowry to the groom's family to fulfill their financial responsibility of the union. Nowadays, weddings come with a 5-figure price tag, and traditional roles of who pays have changed out of financial necessity. However, use the standard guidelines of who pays for what as a starting point when discussing how you will pay for the wedding.
The bride and the bride's family is responsible for:
Whether your wedding is lavish or casual, make clear who will pay for what early in the wedding planning so no one receives bills they never expected.
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Weddings are the special day for the bride and groom, and proper etiquette from their guests can make the day even more enjoyable. Much is written about wedding etiquette for the bride and groom but very little about wedding guest etiquette! |
