Wedding Etiquette for the Groom

When it comes to wedding etiquette, even the most overlooked person-the groom-must follow certain rules. While wedding etiquette for the groom is certainly changing with the times, you must abide by certain rules of behavior.

The modern wedding is a chance to highlight the union between two people setting out on a new life together. Chances are, a wedding is the first big project that you and your bride will work on together. The traditional scenario has the bride dominating the planning, with you standing alone, bewildered and pondering the difference between calla lilies and carnations. However, today's groom can be just as involved and active in the planning as he wants to be.

The wise bride will recognize what talents and skills her future husband has and allow him to take on that part of the planning. Offer to handle the aspects you are interested in. If you are really into music, take charge of that portion of the planning. Express your desire to hold the wedding at a certain church or reception center, and then take on the role of arranging for it. Choosing items for the wedding registry is something the bride and groom can do together and have fun with. The modern groom can handle all the details as well as the bride, as long as he is willing to stay organized and follow through.

Ask Permission
While it has long been traditional for the groom to ask the father for his daughter's hand in marriage, many couples feel that this is an outdated step. However, proper wedding etiquette for the groom still requires some sort of conversation out of respect to her parents. Nowadays, rather than asking permission, you can ask your sweetheart's dad for his blessing. This gesture should earn you bonus points in your future in-law's eyes, and it's a respectful way of acknowledging the importance of the event about to take place.

Who Pays for What?
The modern wedding has changed and evolved from the couple's family financial responsibilities to the bride and groom footing much of the bill themselves. Figuring out who pays for what is a good place to start when it comes to wedding etiquette for the groom.

The groom is responsible for the engagement ring and the wedding rings. He should also pay for all the flowers for the bride's bouquet and any corsages and boutonnieres for the wedding attendants. The rehearsal dinner also falls under the groom's financial responsibility. Last of all, he should buy the bride's gift. Anything to do with the groomsmen is also his responsibility, including lodging, transportation and their gifts. Finally, the groom pays for the honeymoon.

Choosing Groomsmen
You can choose as many groomsmen as you want depending on the size of the venue. In addition to acting as ushers and seating guests before the ceremony, groomsmen also generally escort the female attendants. Before you start picking the men who will help you on the big day, you should ask your bride-to-be how many bridesmaids she plans to have so the two of you have an equal number of bridesmaids and groomsmen.

It's good wedding etiquette to select men to whom you are close to, as well as male members of the bride's family, such as her brother. The best man should be someone close to you and he should be dependable and reliable. It's also a good idea to select groomsmen who are mature enough to handle the responsibilities of the event and not embarrass you in the wedding video by getting drunk.

The Bachelor Party
Your groomsmen will also be in charge of planning your bachelor party, but you need to be crystal-clear about how you want to spend the evening. If you want to play poker and they want a wild night out at clubs, then they need to break out the poker chips. Whether your party is rowdy or tame, try not to have the bachelor party the night before so you are well rested for the big day.

The Ceremony
You might be nervous before exchanging vows, but take the time to let your groomsmen know how much you appreciate their presence. Immediately after the ceremony, you may join your bride and family and greet guests in a receiving line. Even if you have no idea who some of the guests are, a warm handshake and a smile will be appreciated.

At the Reception
It's traditional to greet every guest who comes to the reception personally, and, as the host, you'll have the main responsibility of introducing people to each other. Wedding etiquette for the groom dictates that announcing the person's first name and relationship to you (or the bride) is sufficient. As you and your bride go from table to table, make sure that the guests are comfortable.

Many receptions leave time for the groom to make a groom's toast, and it's proper wedding etiquette to do it in a manner than will make you look like a star. Take a few days before the ceremony and write down your thoughts. Think about how happy you are to be marrying the girl of your dreams and to see all your friends and family gathered. The groom's toast usually comes sometime after the best man's toast, so keep it focused on the happiness of the day and on your lovely bride.

Finally, one of the more fun events of the day is the garter toss. If you are incorporating this fun and celebrated tradition into the reception, there are definitely some things that you should and should not do. The garter toss is symbolic of the groom tossing off his old life and passing good luck on to whoever catches it. The bride should be seated and have the garter just above her knee. Be careful to lift the dress just enough to access the garter and not exposing anything else. After removing the garter, you can turn your back to the cluster of unmarried men and fling it backwards. Under no circumstances should you remove the garter with your teeth, unless you are supremely confident that no one in the crowd, including your future father-in-law, would be upset.

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