Wedding Guest 101: How to Follow Proper Etiquette

By: Victoria Welch

Any wedding guest would hope that, when a bride and groom look back on their special day, her presence at the event is one remembered fondly. Unfortunately, many guests inadvertently become people whose lack of wedding guest etiquette blemishes an otherwise perfect day. They don't realize that the need to follow proper etiquette is crucial and begins the moment a wedding invitation arrives in the mail.

RSVP Promptly
When an invitation arrives, try to determine whether you will be able to attend in a prompt manner and then get that RSVP back to the couple. Wedding planning hinges on knowing how many people the couple can expect; the couple always appreciates as much help in that regard as possible.

Be sure to note on the invitation whether you are allowed to bring a guest. If it does not, you can inquire, but don't try to convince the couple to let your boyfriend join you. It's not just one extra seat - if they allow an extra guest in your case, they will have to provide countless other exceptions.

The Gift/Card Dilemma
It is customary to purchase a gift for the bride and groom, but you don't have to bring that gift to the wedding with you. In many instances, gifts at the actual wedding are difficult to transport from the reception site back to the couple's home.

Technically, you have one year from the couple's wedding day to give them a gift, but waiting too long is tacky and awkward for all involved. Find the middle ground and be sure to give the couple a card on their wedding day. Follow up promptly with a gift, whether you deliver it in person or have it sent to their home.

Ladies, Don't Wear White
Wedding fashion etiquette has grown more relaxed in recent years, but one should always let the bride be the only woman with the option of wearing white on her wedding day. It doesn't matter if your dress is white with a colorful print on it - a white dress is a white dress. Save that for another special event and go with a non-white dress instead. Even wearing black is preferable to someone other than the bride wearing white.

Drink Responsibly
An open bar is a wonderful thing, but making a fool of yourself at a wedding is something else entirely. Be sure not to become overly intoxicated over the course of the reception. At minimum, be sure to follow up every alcoholic beverage with a glass of water. It is always a good idea to have a buddy system in place, too - if your buddy starts to slur his words, cut him off and save him the embarrassment.

Allow the Bride and Groom to Mingle
The bride and groom must make their way from table to table to greet their guests. Understand that they have a job to do and might not be able to spend as much time with you as you might like. Instead of trying to dominate their time, tell them how happy you are to be there and, if possible, ask either the bride or groom to save you a dance.

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