The duties of the bride and groom are explained. Your wedding is one of the definitive days of your life. But, before the big day happens, the groom needs to put in a lot of effort to help make things run smoothly. Being a part of the process will help personalize your day, making it something that is a reflection of your style and taste. There are a few things you should know to keep you, the bride and the wedding party sane and happy.
Selecting a Wedding Party
The first item in your wedding checklist is to figure out who is going to be in the wedding party. As the groom, your responsibility is to choose groomsmen, who will not only bear witness to the occasion but also seat guests during the ceremony and escort the bridesmaids throughout the service and into the reception.
Consult with your fiancée to find out how many bridesmaids she plans to have. It is not necessary to choose the same number of groomsmen, although some couples prefer matching numbers for symmetry. What's more important is to have enough groomsmen to seat the number of guests you plan to invite. The larger the guest list, the more groomsmen you'll need.
Start by selecting your best man. This can be your brother, best friend or even your father; the idea is to confer this honor to the most important male friend in your life. He will have a number of responsibilities, such as planning your bachelor party and holding the rings during the ceremony, so choose wisely. If your choice is a friend who is significant to you but notoriously unreliable, you may ask one of your more responsible friends to serve as "lead groomsman" to back him up. Keep in mind that you may need to invite some groomsmen who are not close to you, such as a brother or relative of the bride.
The Registry and Wedding Clothes
Even if your bride-to-be is working on the wedding, you can help by figuring out a schedule for all the events in which you'll be expected to participate. If there will be an engagement party, sit down with your parents (and hers) to find a date that works for all of you. If your friends are planning a bachelor party, work with your best man on scheduling.
You and your bride may want to register for gifts. If so, take an active role in selecting the items listed on the registry. These gifts will be stocking your household for years to come, so if you don't want to sleep on frilly sheets or eat off flowered dishes and you don't speak now, you will have to forever hold your peace.
As you plan what to wear on your wedding day, ask the tuxedo store to help you arrange for rentals if some of your wedding party is out of town; many shops will allow the customer to send in measurements. The safest bet is to have a shop in the groomsman's town take the measurements and send them to the store where you are renting the tuxedoes, since professionals are more likely to get accurate numbers.
Arrange for the tuxedo pickup, and ask one of the groomsmen to return the suits after the wedding. If the suits are not returned on time, you may face additional charges, so make sure the person who agrees to this job is trustworthy. Make his task easier by arranging a convenient time for everyone to get their items to him.
The Bachelor Party
Whether you take an active role in planning or are bracing for a surprise, let your best man know any general preferences or bachelor-party ground rules in advance. For example, if your fiancée is going to make your life miserable if exotic dancers are involved, say so.
If your groomsmen are planning a night of debauchery, remember that the last thing you need is to wind up in a jail cell. You should also make sure you have a designated driver or cab fare if you intend to drink.
Traditionally, the groom does not pay for his own drinks or entertainment at a bachelor party. However, it can't hurt to take some cash with you. You never know if it might come in handy for cab fare.
The Rehearsal Dinner
The day before the ceremony is traditionally considered to be the groom's chance to host his wedding party, family and out-of-town guests at the rehearsal dinner. Work with your parents to plan an event that meets your budget (or theirs, if they are paying). Try to limit the invitees to the wedding party, immediate family and perhaps a few very close out-of-town guests. The point is to acknowledge everyone's support during the wedding.
The rehearsal dinner is typically when you give your best man and groomsmen gifts to thank them for being in your wedding party. You can give cufflinks, personalized beer steins, watches, frames or other traditional items. Other choices include tickets to a favorite sports event or electronic gadgets. Splurge a bit more for the best man.
The Big Day
The night before the wedding, you may need to find a place to stay if your bride needs space to herself. Relatives and friends should be able to help you out here, or you could rent a hotel room. Even if you are planning to hang out with your buddies, try to get adequate rest.
The morning of the wedding, make sure your rings are safely stowed with the best man. You may also want to give your best man the payments for the clergy, limousine driver and other vendors and ask him to settle those bills because you can expect to be indisposed for the rest of the day. Be sure to get to the service on time, and take a moment to let your groomsmen know how much you appreciate their participation.
After the ceremony, many couples opt to create a receiving line consisting of the bride, groom, their parents and the wedding party. This allows each guest to approach and congratulate the newlyweds outside the chaotic atmosphere of a reception.
The Reception and Other Traditions
Now that the ceremony is over, it's time to celebrate. When you arrive at the reception, make an effort to go around to every table and personally greet your guests. It's also customary for the crowd to clink wine glasses with their silverware to encourage the bride and groom to kiss; so if you hear that sound, they're playing your song, go for it.
At the reception, you will likely be expected to dance with your bride. If you have a song that is special to you, this might be a starting point for selecting first-dance music. If not, consider using a song that was important to your parents or hers.
When you cut the wedding cake, someone might tell you to smash the bride's face with the cake, or vice versa. Do yourself a favor and find out beforehand if your new wife will mind. If she does, and you don't ask, you may be in for a long wedding night.
After the reception ends, if you are headed for a hotel or airport, or even your own apartment, have someone drive you, especially if you've been drinking. If you have already dismissed the limo driver for the night, a sober groomsman (preferably one you asked in advance) may be willing to help out.
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