The Role of the Ring Bearer

Featuring children in the wedding procession is a wonderful way to include them in the celebration, and the ring bearer has the important job of carrying the symbolic rings which will join two people in love and unity. As cute as the ring bearer is, there are certain etiquette rules and duties that the ring bearer must be helped to understand.

Generally, a ring bearer is a little boy related to the bride or groom, such as a nephew or cousin. Sometimes the ring bearer is selected from the children of close friends. Most ring bearers are between the ages of three and eight years old and chosen for their ability to follow directions and desire to participate. Modern couples are adjusting traditional roles and duties of the ring bearer to suit their own needs, and many proud ring bearers are girls. However, for a traditional ring bearer, there are a few things to keep in mind.

Generally, the ring bearer is dressed in a tuxedo, often a miniature version of groomsmen attire. However, a new suit is also acceptable to most couples. Wedding etiquette calls for the ring bearer's parents to pay for either the tux or suit.

The ring bearer needs to be old enough to walk down the aisle when signaled and also carry a pillow with either real or symbolic rings attached. Many wedding couples who do not want a traditional ring bearer may choose to include a boy as a page, and he can accompany the flower girl down the aisle.

The ring bearer carries a wedding ring pillow, usually a white satin pillow with lace and ribbons attached. Some couples choose to tie the real wedding rings to the wedding ring pillow, while others select symbolic rings to adorn the pillow. The real rings are with the maid of honor and the best man.

Make sure that ring bearer participates in the rehearsal the night before the actual procession; give him specific directions of when to go, where to stand, who to hand the wedding ring pillow to and what to do afterwards. Most ring bearers can quietly go and sit with their parents after the whole procession has made it to their proper places.

At the reception, there is no need for the ring bearer to stand in a receiving line, as young children get fidgety and restless after a few minutes. Instead, most guests will likely take an opportunity to congratulate and compliment the cute young man in a tuxedo on successfully completing his role as a ring bearer.