Simple Steps and Tips for Writing Your Own Wedding Vows

Are you looking for some simple steps and tips for writing your own wedding vows? When people think of wedding vows, the phrases that tend to come to mind include "to have and to hold" and "till death do us part" -- no doubt reinforced by the countless movies that have referenced these lines. These phrases come from the Book of Common Prayer, but these days, more and more couples are choosing to move away from standard traditional vows in favor of personalized wedding vows.

General themes

The first step for those who plan on writing their own wedding vows is to sit down together and work out what key themes both partners wish to incorporate into their vows. Your wedding is an important occasion and you'll want to make sure that both of you are happy that the final set of vows represent the points you wish to convey. Typically, vows will cover a similar range of themes, such as the depth of your love and the commitment that you are entering into, with different wording depending on the personalities of those getting married.

Review a range of possible 'standard' vows

Even if you've chosen to write your own vows, it can be very useful to read through other vows that are commonly used. This can cover both the old traditional religious vows as well as the newer vows that can either by more broadly spiritual in nature, or can be completely nonreligious. Reading through a range of vows can allow you to identify points that particularly resonate with you, which you may then wish to adapt into your own vows.

Create a first draft of your wedding vows

Once you have a view on the general points that you want your vows to include, it's time to sit down and have a first bash at writing your wedding vows. Try to keep your vows succinct and focus on conveying your emotion rather than showing off with your writing ability. Make sure that writing the vows is a collaborative process, so that both of you are happy with them.

Do a practice read-through of your vows and then refine them

Words can often look good on a page but the real test is how they feel when spoken, so make sure that you arrange a read-through with trusted friends and/or relatives. This may prompt you to make a few refinements before submitting the final version for inclusion in your wedding ceremony. Make sure that you consult with the person who is going to be conducting your wedding ceremony to make sure they understand your wish to use personalized vows. Some religions may place restrictions on the degree to which couples can personalize their vows, and nonreligious weddings normally prohibit certain religious references from being used, so make sure you have checked that your preferred wording is permissible.

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