30 Florida Man Stories So Outrageous You Won't Believe They're True
Wacky, outrageous and usually drunk — Florida Man is the antihero you never knew you needed. There's really no end to his wild shenanigans — and that’s no wonder, because he has to deal with hungry alligators, heat and madcap weather almost on the daily.
Florida's most notorious citizen isn't just one person, but an amalgamation of men (and women) who populate the Sunshine State. Here are some of their most ludicrous antics to date.
Florida Man Trips Over His Pants While Running From Police
Next time your grandma tells you not to wear your pants so baggy, listen to her; it might come in handy if you're ever running from the police. Daytona Beach resident Tobias Smith learned that lesson the hard way when he was pulled over for driving an unregistered vehicle.
Florida Man Parks Smart Car in Kitchen So It Won’t Blow Away
Florida gets some crazy weather. So crazy, in fact, that you might have to park your car inside the house so you don't lose it during a storm. That's what happened to one Florida man when Hurricane Dorian blew through in 2019.
Florida Locals Use Gas Station Microwave to Warm Their Urine
In this story, several Florida men and women used a local gas station's microwave to warm up their urine — on a regular basis. You may wonder why one would want to warm up urine one time, let alone many times. Well, it might aid in passing a drug test, apparently.
Florida Man Goes on Vandalism Spree, Says Trump Owes Him a Trillion Dollars
A lot of people feel like the government owes them some money. There's no arguing that. But do they feel like Donald Trump personally owes them something? Not likely. Thirty-year-old Justin Wilson did, though. In fact, he felt that Mr. Trump owed him an astounding one trillion dollars.
Florida Man Claims He Joined a Child Sex Ring Just to See "a Sting in Action"
Sometimes, Live PD just won't cut it. No longer satisfied with watching people get busted on television, you get right there in the middle of the action yourself. Thirty-four-year-old James Bowen from Gainesville was so serious about getting in on the action that he joined a child sex ring just so he could watch the police bust it up — supposedly.
Florida Man Goes to a Christmas Festival and Screams “Santa Isn’t Real” at Kids
Most people don't have incredibly strong feelings about Santa. You either tell your kids that he's real or you don't — no biggie. For one unnamed Florida man, however, the thought of a fat guy who delivers toys to children in a magic sleigh was highly offensive.
Florida Man Robs Store Dressed as Spider-Man
What do you do if you want to rob a store? Wear a disguise, of course! While most would-be robbers might throw on a dark-colored hoodie or a face mask, one Florida man thought it was a good idea to dress as his favorite superhero: Spider-Man.
Florida Man Attempts to Smoke Crack in ICU, Almost Burns Down Hospital
Sharing is caring. We all want to do nice things for the people we love, especially around the holidays. That’s potentially why Florida man Lee Vern Cook thought it was a good idea to take some crack-cocaine to his hospitalized friend on Christmas Eve.
Florida Man Breaks Into Home, Cooks Breakfast
If you woke up to a strange man cooking breakfast in your kitchen, would that be a good thing or a bad thing? Perhaps it depends on what they're making. One Florida family got to find out in real life when a drunk teenager entered their home at 4 a.m. for a quick snack.
Florida Man Impersonates Cop at IHOP to Get Free Food
When you're hungry, you're hungry. There's nothing you won't do to get some grub in your belly. But Florida man Matt Skytta took it a step too far when he (illegally) impersonated a police officer at his local IHOP to get some free pancakes.
Florida Man Repeatedly Jumps Into Crocodile Enclosure at Zoo, Leaves Behind All His Clothes
When staff members at a Florida alligator farm entered a crocodile enclosure and saw two floating Croc shoes and some clothing, they were worried. While they couldn't locate a body, they did find a trail of blood leading to the top of the 20-foot enclosure and alerted police right away.
Two Florida Middle School Girls Attempt to Drink Classmates’ Blood
We don't want Florida Man to get all the attention, so here's one about Florida Girl(s): Two middle school girls in central Florida were caught before they could carry out their plan to murder their fellow classmates and drink their blood. The two students, ages 11 and 12, brought knives to school in order to execute their plot.
Armless Florida Man Arrested for Stabbing Tourist With Scissors
Vacation can be full of surprises, good and bad. But one thing most people would never expect? Getting stabbed by an armless man. That's exactly what happened to 22-year-old Cesar Coronado when a homeless Florida Man stabbed him with a pair of scissors — using his feet.
Florida Man Didn’t Flush Toilet at His Friend's House, Says "Sh*t Happens"
When you gotta go, you gotta go. But if you gotta go in someone else's house, you should at least flush when you're done. Florida man Keith Mounts never learned that lesson — and he didn't much appreciate being told to flush after leaving his victim a stinking surprise.
Shirtless Florida Man Arrested for Going Door to Door Picking Fights
In what is possibly the most Florida thing to ever happen, a drunk, shirtless Pensacola man went door-to-door in a neighborhood looking for a fight. Thirty-two-year-old Christopher Doyle Norman began his drunken rampage by kicking open the gate to a trailer park and harassing bystanders.
Florida Man Arrested After Giving Aggressive “Wet Willy"
A 47-year-old Florida man was arrested after giving his girlfriend a "wet willy" while drunk, according to an affidavit. For those not in the know: A "wet willy" is when one person wets their finger (typically in their mouth) and then sticks that finger inside another person’s ear. Gross, but not typically grounds for arrest.
Florida Grandma Removes Dentures to Scare Naked Intruder
When one Florida man tried to break into a home — fully nude — he was met by an unexpected adversary: toothless grandma. Pennelope Pettersen of Titusville says that she was taken aback when she peeked out her bedroom window to find a naked, gyrating intruder on her back porch, so she did the first thing she could think of.
Florida Man Claims His Wife Was Abducted by Holograms
Back in 2014, a 53-year-old Florida man told police that intruders had abducted his wife with the assistance of holograms. According to their report, the unidentified man was "extremely agitated" and holding a baseball bat when officials arrived. He told them that a group of men, using hologram projections to communicate with each other, had taken his wife.
Florida Man Arrested for Attempting to “Barbecue” Child Molesters
When it comes to criminals, people who hurt children are the worst of the worst. No one likes them — not even fellow criminals. It may not be so surprising, then, that this Florida man decided to take the law into his own hands and eradicate his hometown of child molesters.
Florida Man Steals 850 Pairs of Underwear From Victoria's Secret
An 18-year-old Florida man (and his underage accomplice) were accused of stealing 850 pairs of underwear from Victoria's Secret in 2014. According to NBC6 in Miramar, Daniel Espinosa stole more than $15,000 worth of property from the store on three separate occasions.
Florida Man Faces Obscenity Charges for “I Eat A**” Window Sticker
There's personal expression, and then there's just being crude. So seems the case with 23-year-old Florida man Dillon Shane Webb, who was arrested in 2019 for having an "I eat a**" sticker plastered on the window of his pickup truck — or, rather, for refusing to remove it.
Florida Man Dressed as Fred Flintstone Pulled Over for “Speeding” in “Footmobile”
In a scene straight out of the movies, a Florida man dressed as Fred Flintstone was pulled over for exceeding the speed limit in his homemade "footmobile" — designed to look exactly like the one from the cartoon. Don Swartz's Smart car looked like an almost exact replica of the foot-powered vehicle used in the 1960s series The Flintstones.
Florida Man Attacks Nephew Over Undercooked Noodles
Everyone has a pasta preference — and apparently, Florida man Richard Vine Newton likes his noodles a bit on the harder side. Word has it that when his nephew complained about the al dente pasta, Mr. Newton started screaming and shoved his nephew in the face. The nephew then shoved him back and left the apartment.
Florida Man Calls 911 to Check His Tax Return
We've all been there: You spend hours preparing your tax return, you attach all of the appropriate forms, you finally get it in the mail and...crickets. You wait for weeks and don't hear anything back from the IRS. But you really need your money. Well, this Florida man was having none of that.
Florida Man Breaks Into Neighbor’s House, Fully Nude, to Find Sesame Seeds for His Burger
A 48-year-old Florida man who was accused of burglarizing his neighbor's home while fully naked told police he just wanted sesame seeds for his burger. The man, Martin Henderson, allegedly used a butter knife to jimmy his neighbor's door. When the homeowner heard a commotion, he came downstairs to find the nude intruder standing in his kitchen.
Florida Man Pours Beer Into Alligator's Mouth
Twenty-seven-year-old Florida man Timothy Kepke was arrested after allegedly capturing an alligator and attempting to pour beer down its throat. The incident occurred after Kepke's friend, 22-year-old Noah Osborne, caught the gator. The two filmed the entire incident, leaving little room for interpretation.
Florida Men Attack Ice Cream Man Who Wouldn't Take Counterfeit $20 Bill for Pickled Sausage
First of all: What is a pickled sausage? Is that a Florida thing? Because we've never heard of it. Secondly: Why is the ice cream man selling pickled sausage? Either way, three Florida men assaulted an ice cream man when he wouldn't sell them said sausage.
Florida Man Tries to Steal 26 Cars From Jail Parking Lot Just After Being Released
There are lots of questionable tales on this list, but this one is by far one of the stupidest moves we've ever seen. Sixty-eight-year-old Florida man Dennis Libonati was promptly sent back to jail right after being released — because he tried to break into 26 different cars right there in the jail's parking lot.
Is That a Chainsaw, or Are You Just Happy to See Me?
There are things you could probably get away with stuffing down your pants if you were so inclined. A liter of soda, maybe, or a candy bar. And, as one very brave Florida man demonstrated, one may also fit a full-sized chainsaw down the front of his trousers.
Florida Man, Once Arrested for Fighting Drag Queen With a Tiki Torch, Runs for Mayor
Florida Man Boyd Corbin, once arrested for fighting a drag queen with a tiki torch while dressed as a KKK member, decided to run for mayor of Wilton Manors in 2014. Since his 2012 arrest for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon (the tiki torch), Corbin has repeatedly talked about the injustices of his case.