Genius Vet Signs That Will Have Pet Owners Rolling With Laughter
Where would we and our furry friends be without veterinarians? Although pets may or may not be too fond of trips to the vet’s office, fur-parents know that these visits are necessary to keep their little pals healthy and happy. Thankfully, there are some vets out there who manage to keep the mood fun, both inside and outside the office. Here you’ll see a few who get the world smiling with hilarious vet signs that every animal lover can appreciate.
An Age-Old Truth
Ever since the invention of doors, members of kitty-kind everywhere have been protesting what they consider a grave injustice. As long as doors remain open, cats can find a way to coexist with them in uneasy peace. Woe, however, to the door that blocks a free-roaming kitty’s path.
Though there may be absolutely nothing of interest on the other side of the doors in question, cats everywhere feel honor-bound to shove their paws beneath them and produce the most heart-wrenching yowls possible. Such shenanigans shall not cease until the doors are once again open — and tranquility restored.
A Clever Song Pun
See what this vet did there? If not, then go do a YouTube search for the song “Watch Me (Whip/Nae Nae)” by Silentó and then come back. Be forewarned, however, that the song you’re about to hear could be voted “most likely to get stuck in your head.”
Though it may or may not be frustrating to find this vet’s rendition still playing in your head a few hours from now, you’ve got to admit it’s a clever pun. Hopefully it’s one that’ll remind you of the importance of getting your pet fixed.
Why Cats Are the World’s Best Alarm Clocks
Anyone who has ever adopted a cat may still find themselves silently giggling at the irony of the term “cat owner.” One does not simply own a cat so much as sign up to become the cat’s around-the-clock servant.
Make no mistake; those who serve well are rewarded with purrs and occasional leg rubs. But woe to a fur-parent who fails to wake up on time for kitty’s regularly scheduled breakfast. Should you manage to commit such a travesty, prepare to earn some disgruntled meows that rival the volume level of any alarm clock on the market.
The Enigma of the Dog Doorman
If you’re considering adopting a new dog, rest assured that you’ll never be surprised by a visitor’s arrival again. Due to some ancient agreement of the canine council, each new dog arrives at a new home fully prepared to take on the jobs of a doorman, bodyguard and full-time best friend.
Does each dog vow that your door will never again be approached by anyone whose presence isn’t immediately announced? Those who manage to make it through the door are then treated to a full-scale sniff-down before being allowed to remain inside unattended.
What’s the Difference Between Cats and Dogs?
Sometimes it seems that the vet’s office is the one place in the world where dogs and cats can coexist in relative peace — maybe due to their shared nervousness. However, there will always be an unspoken competitive tension between humanity’s two favorite fur-species.
Perhaps one of the more clever pooches managed to point out that dogs too have their own special skills such as…roofing. Hopefully, the dogs eventually got their chance to proclaim their own merits via the power of puns. Regardless, it was probably a “ruff” day for them when this kitty-friendly sign went up.
When You Realize Your Cat Has a Better Chance at Stardom
Imagine telling someone from 1,000 years ago that, today, we have objects that contain all the information in the known world sitting right in our pockets. They allow us to instantly talk to or message people around the globe, read thousands of books and instantly look up the answer to any question.
But what do we mostly do with our smartphones? Use them to argue with strangers and watch hilarious videos of cats. Though some ancient people would likely feel bewildered at this discovery, others would get it. Cats were probably just as hilarious back then as they are today.
An Ode to Kitty-fueled Cat-astrophy
There are many mysteries in the world today. Are we alone in the universe? What is the purpose of life? But mostly, why is it that cats are unable to resist batting off anything perched on an edge of any sort?
As any cat will tell you, no one knows for sure. This is a long and honored tradition, and kitties no longer bother to question their own hardwiring to do the knockdown bat. Attempts to break them of this habit are probably futile. Do yourself a favor and keep all your breakables firmly away from the edge of…anything.
You’ve Been Fur-warned
Though cat food-colored carpeting may not sound like the most attractive decor, it’s not totally without its merits. As cat owners everywhere already know, feeding your kitty anything should be done only with the understanding that there’s a possibility of it showing back up on your carpet after some brief digestion.
Hairballs, however, are one thing we can all agree that cats don’t do out of spite. If you consider their plight, it’s an understandable one. Imagine wearing a fur coat that you could never take off but were expected to keep in pristine condition. And your only cleaning tool is your tongue.
Why Dog Owners Are Particular About Shampoo
If you ever feel like putting your skills to the ultimate test, there’s no need to scale the summit of Everest. Simply call around until you locate a friend who happens to own a full-grown Husky. Then, volunteer to come over and give the dog a bath.
Getting your friend’s pet into the tub will be a challenge in and of itself, but managing to keep it there until the bath is done requires the skill of a Greek hero. Make sure you wear something you don’t mind getting wet, as you’ll likely end up more soaked than the dog.
A Valid Point…
If you’re one of those people who finds yourself constantly talking to your pet as if it understands perfect English, rest assured you’re in good company. It’s just one of those things that humans have all collectively decided to overlook in each other, even if it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.
That said, the next time your dog flips out in the vet’s parking lot, feel free to pull out this clever piece of encouragement. Though your dog may not know or care what a dinosaur is, the other visitors should get a nice chuckle out of it.
Beware the Cone of Shame
Just as children fear the boogeyman, there’s nothing a cat or dog hates worse than being forced to rock the cone of shame. These huge, funnel-shaped collars keep pets from licking a wound that needs to heal.
To make matters even more humiliating, the cone of shame’s unintended effects are often accidentally hilarious. Many a fur-parent has struggled not to laugh when watching their beloved pet try to figure out why it can no longer fit under the coffee table or through a stair railing. Sometimes you just have to find the humor when times get tough.
An Incredibly Likely Prediction
While dogs are kind of like your super-happy buddy who always seems to be on too much caffeine, cats are more like the cool girls in the schoolyard. They’re pretty, they know it and they’ll get back to you when they can.
Between demanding breakfast at an inappropriately early hour and suddenly running down the hall at midnight, cats have strict napping schedules to adhere to. Even if they could text, what cat has the time? On the bright side, you’re probably not missing out on much. Most of their texts would likely be selfies featuring silently judgmental stares.
What’s in a Name?
How much of our language do our pets really understand? We may never know. While many pets seem to know their names, very few of them probably have any idea what they actually mean. It’s a bit sad that dogs named Pancake or Dobby will never understand the true hilarity of their names.
On the other hand, do you ever wonder if our pets have names for us in their own secret pet language? Do they refer to us in a series of unintelligible meows, barks or other noises? Or do they not really care as long as we keep their bowls full?
Kitty Mystery Solved
Another possible explanation may be that most cats prefer online sitting over online shopping. Rare is the cat owner who hasn’t been interrupted during a computer session by a cat who suddenly decided to perch on the keyboard.
Why would someone forbid Ms. Kitty from using a warm laptop as a bed? It’s likely a mystery among cats everywhere. Some clever cat owners go as far as purchasing other unplugged keyboards that they leave beside the ones they’re using. Though it may not be quite the same as the real thing, many cats have found such offerings thoughtful enough to settle for.
Vet techs who spend half of their time trying to get cats back into carriers know this truth. While letting the cat out of the metaphorical bag is as easy as accidentally letting a secret slip, attempting to get the actual animal into a crate or carrier of any sort is a whole other matter entirely.
Cats seem to agree that any attempt by a person to carry them in a confined space is the equivalent of a declaration of war against cat-kind. These days, they even have zip-up cat bag carriers, though whether cats think those are more or less offensive remains to be seen.
This Delightfully Awful Dog Joke
Ah, yes. So many deliciously bad dog puns in the world, so little time. If this bloodhound gag doesn’t work for you, then take this one for a test drive: What did the dog say to the tree? Bark. No? Okay.
You can even turn the age-old chicken riddle into an eye-roll-worthy zinger. Why did the dog cross the road? To get out of the…barking lot. Okay, okay, one more. What’s a dog’s favorite vegetable? Collie-flower! Thanks folks. We’ll be here all night.
A Brilliant Dog Halloween Costume Begging to Happen
Need a hilarious pun costume that’ll make your dog feel paw-sitively heroic? Try looking for a plush hammer toy or one light enough to attach to his harness. If he’s the fun-loving or patient type, a blonde wig could also be hilarious.
Taking Labra-Thor out trick-or-treating with you and the kids is likely to land you tons of extra candy, dog treats and laughter from all your neighbors. If he doesn’t happen to be a Lab, just buy him a tiny wizard hat, dub him “Hairy Paw-ter” and wait for the fun to begin.
World’s Funniest Neuter Ad?
This vet is turning hump day into just the opposite with a special discount for pets. Don’t think neutering is important? Then you’ve likely never had your in-laws over for dinner, only to be horrified to find your pooch getting a little too friendly with Dad’s leg.
Another benefit? Neutering your pets dramatically decreases their chances of developing cancer in the long run. So if you’ve got a little guy that’s ready to get snipped, don’t hesitate to take him in.
Deep Vet Questions
As hysterical as this question is, vets and animal behaviorists probably do spend time wondering how animals view the world and each other. The same question could also be asked of snails in regards to slugs. You spend all day lugging your house around, and then one day you come across this guy who seems to be free-ranging it.
Similar questions have also been posed with regard to dogs. For instance, when a normal dog sees a police dog, does he think, “Uh oh, it’s the cops”? These are the questions that keep animal lovers everywhere up at night.
World’s Best Dog Name?
We have a winner in the dog-name department. Aside from the pride of telling everyone you walk 6 miles every day, you can even truthfully say that you walk 6 miles multiple times daily. “What’d you do for lunch?” “Oh, you know, went home to walk 6 miles.”
It’d also be a great out when it came to annoying coworkers. Creepy guy in the cubicle asking you out again? “No, sorry. I’ve gotta get home and walk 6 miles.” Even if he doesn’t get the hint, at least word will get out around the office that you’re a fitness beast.
Finally, Someone Cops to It
In the latest news, a now decades-old mystery has finally been solved. A veterinarian’s office known for hysterical, witty signage has finally confessed to letting the dogs out. Baha Men, you have your answer. And thanks for the catchy music.
Though the song itself has become a favorite of junior high school football teams across the country, no one has ever been able to answer its central question…until now. Dog owners everywhere, who have hopefully had ample time to return their dogs to their respective confinements, can finally rest a bit easier at night.
Don’t Give Your Dog Any Ideas
Isn’t it odd how our favorite housepets are such polar opposites? On one hand, you have dogs, who wiggle themselves into near-hysteria upon seeing you arrive home. On the other, there are cats, who may or may not have even noticed you were gone.
Ironically, it’s the aloofness of kitties that makes them so charming. Cats have this innate ability to not care what anybody else thinks, a talent we all wish we had a bit more of. As for dogs, they all seem to have achieved a state of perpetual bliss that we can only dream of.
When Kitty Is Unhappy, Everyone Is Unhappy
Anyone who claims that cats lack emotion has never seen one angry. Few things are scarier than seeing a ticked-off kitty go all “Halloween pose” on you. On the opposite side of the coin, there’s nothing more affirming than having a cat curl up on your lap and purr contentedly.
Scientists have discovered that dogs have been man’s best friend for so long that they’ve developed the ability to mimic our smiles of joy. Kitties, however, still lack the necessary facial muscles to pull off such a feat. Perhaps that’s why nature equipped them with the purr?
Unconditional Love: Nailing It
If we all strive each and every day to become half the people our dogs already think we are, then the world could become a joyous place indeed. After all, there’s a reason the sight of a dog inspires so much joy and love in even the surliest humans.
When it comes to optimism, forgiveness and seeing the best in people, dogs just hit it out of the park. So the next time you’re tempted to let that obscenity or angry rant escape your lips, just pause for a moment and ask, “What would my dog do?”
A Lesson for Dog Owners Everywhere
You can count on dogs for a great many things. They make excellent companions, bodyguards and bed-warmers. There’s one area, however, in which no dog is to be trusted. You see, when dogs find themselves in the presence of food, all bets are off.
Dogs assume that, not only do we all know this, but we’ve also all agreed to the rules of an unspoken game. When in the presence of anything that looks or smells tasty, it’s every man, woman, child and pooch for themselves. Lesson? Never leave Fido alone with something you have any intention of eating.
The Chihuahua vs. Doorbell Showdown
Chihuahua owners everywhere know this sign couldn’t be more on point. These kinds of things simply aren’t done. For one, the Chihuahua by nature considers himself a compact doorbell and may be offended by having his job stolen.
If you had ears bigger than the rest of your head, you probably wouldn’t be too keen on a loud sound erupting through your peaceful home, either. Do yourself a favor the next time you approach a Chihuahua-owner’s home, and knock…or simply wait for the little guy to announce you.
If you think your cat is capable of little more than lounging around in the sun all day, then the odds are that you’ve never found yourself forced to give it a bath. Why would anyone subject themselves to such horrors, you ask?
Some cone-wearing kitties need their owners to help them bathe until a wound heals. Others need special shampoos to help rid them of infections. If you ever find yourself preparing for kitty bathtime, arm yourself with gloves, a thick sweater and lots of hope.
An Ode to the Dedication of Dog Owners
A little unconditional love goes a long way. Dog owners everywhere are living proof of it. After all, there are few other creatures whose…gifts we’d agree to bag up every time we took them out for an evening stroll.
But dogs everywhere earn such favors by putting up with humans’ antics each day. Look no further than the dog whose person has chosen to dress him up in a Halloween costume or outfit him in tiny people clothes. Most dogs would probably still be happy for the attention, which is one of the many reasons their owners would do anything for them.
The Plight of Pet Ownership
While this is absolutely true for dogs, we think it extends to cats, too. For whatever reason, pets seem to have the uncanny ability to seek out the absolute coziest spots in the house and claim them as their own.
Whether it’s a spot in the exact center of the bed or that comfy couch cushion you were hoping to sit on, your pet will likely be there first. Keep a few edible bribes on hand. Everyone has a price, and you might as well stock up on treats as soon as you adopt a pet into your family.
The Divine Heritage of Kitties Everywhere
Ancient Egyptians believed cats were divine — they even had a cat goddess named Bastet. Have you ever wondered why cats won such high praise? It’s easy to understand when you think about what life was like back in those days.
Imagine living in a desert where snakes lurked around every corner, rats threatened to ruin your grain and other disease-ridden rodents were constantly running around. Who can solve such problems? Your friendly neighborhood kitty. Cats quite possibly saved ancient civilizations from ruin (at least they’d probably like to think so). It makes sense that we still repay them with head rubs to this day.