Hilarious Cats Perfectly Defining Cat Logic

By Jake Schroeder
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Photo Courtesy: @SpaceCatPics/Twitter

While we as humans pride ourselves on developing our own rich cultures, we often forget that cats indulge in rules all their own. This is important to understand when bringing a new kitty into your home, as cats are notorious for operating on their own unspoken rules.

Here you'll meet a collection of cats who’ll introduce you to the ways of kittykind by demonstrating the unique and celebrated customs of their people.

This Peeping Tom...Cat

Every relationship has its compromises, and that between a fur-parent and their cat is no different. Upon bringing a feline into your home, your privacy will be among the first things you must be prepared to part with. For your own safety, your cat will insist on knowing your whereabouts at all times.

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Photo Courtesy: @astic_cat/Twitter

This is of paramount importance when it comes to any trips you may plan on making to the bathroom. Any attempts on your part to venture into a restroom unattended will be met with insistent yowls and the frantic sweeping of paws under the door.

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Cat vs. Computer

The history between cats and computers is a long and complicated one. Most cats are initially confused by the existence of a warm, cat-sized item that humans insist cats must resist the urge to sit on. Unfortunately, their frustration in the face of this paradox often grows into anger.

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Photo Courtesy: @clarissaness/Twitter

Then there's the fact that the average computer has a part known as a "mouse." Seeing as the slaying of such creatures is the cat's claim to fame, it's no small wonder that the average kitty has no trust for anything that would adopt the name of a major nemesis.

Taste Test in Progress

If you’ve ever shared your home with a cat, then you possibly know about the taste test that cats expect all food to undergo in their presence. First and foremost, any item you plan to ingest must first be thoroughly sniffed by your feline companion.

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Photo Courtesy: @magmidd/Twitter

If your furry comrade deems the item questionable, further investigation may be necessary. This usually takes the form of a standard taste test, the extent of which your pal shall determine. Please stand back until given the all-clear.

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Interior Design Kitty Shakes Things Up

When it comes to gifts, cat owners everywhere are encouraged to keep them coming on a regular basis. The purchase of expensive cat toys, beds and other items is a most appropriate way to keep your pet in a constant supply of the boxes these products arrive in. And we all know cats prefer the boxes, right?

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Photo Courtesy: @bedsafely/Twitter

Should your cat ever actually show interest in the item itself, understand that it's not likely to stay in the spot you select for it. As any cat will tell you, dragging it to the most inconvenient spot possible is half of the fun.

Sound the Alarm

Fear not; once you add a cat to your family, you'll never endure an ambush from a completely non-threatening event again. This particular unsuspecting homeowner might never have known about a drop of water that dared drip unbidden from her bathtub faucet — if it wasn’t for her trusty cat.

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Photo Courtesy: @baz00per/Twitter

Luckily, a brave feline happened to be there to sound the alarm. Rest assured that no stray pieces of string, toilet paper rolls or mysterious red laser dots will ever creep up on you again. The one exception is the vacuum cleaner — in this case, you're totally on your own.

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The Taco Cone

While dogs may wear cones of "shame," the language of cats has no word for the concept. Instead, wearing a cone may bring on a variety of other, more cat-appropriate emotions. In some kitties, this may take the form of rage, fury or an all-out refusal to acknowledge the offending object.

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Photo Courtesy: @radtoria/Twitter

In highly developed feline minds, more maniacal plans may emerge. This cat, for instance, has discovered that his cone makes for a handy food scoop. What happened next was his owner's fault for turning his back on an unguarded taco.

Revenge Kitty’s Retribution

These photos tell the cautionary tale of an owner who somehow missed the memo that cats are self-cleaning. The misguided fur-dad attempted to give his cat a bath after carefully removing his shorts in an effort to avoid getting them wet.

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Photo Courtesy: @GavinFree/Twitter

Placing a cat in water is among the gravest offenses that a person can commit against any feline. When it comes to revenge, the unfortunate truth is that a kitty never forgets. This slighted furball wasted no time in exacting revenge against the owner — or his carefully guarded shorts.

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She Pleads the Fifth

So long ago that the exact date has been lost to time, an unshakeable agreement was struck with members of kittykind. The provisions of this universal law state in no uncertain terms that no cat shall ever be convicted of a crime. This especially applies to offenses that the cat in question blatantly committed.

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Photo Courtesy: @rachelmillman/Twitter

Should a cat face evidence of any alleged wrong-doing, expect nothing less than a look of sublime innocence. Kittens are born with knowledge of this law, and acknowledging it is absolutely futile.

iCat

If you've ever found yourself wondering whether you've spoiled your cat, then rest assured that you're on the right track. If the sight of him enjoying his personal iPad within the comfort of his yurt concerns you, take it as a sign that you're pretty much nailing cat ownership.

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Photo Courtesy: @liz_buckley/Twitter

While the idea of being spoiled is something we don’t always appreciate for human children, it’s a celebrated trait among cats everywhere. Rather than forcing a cat to commandeer your personal possessions, save both yourself and your buddy the trouble by handing the goods over peacefully.

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This Present Wrapper

Adopting a cat means that you'll never again have to undertake any activity alone. Whether you plan on wrapping presents, writing emails or attempting to do a jigsaw puzzle, rest assured that your cat will always materialize out of the mists in order to lend a paw.

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Photo Courtesy: @Marvel91192125/Twitter

Such help will often come in the form of a blessing your feline helper imposes on your task. You'll know the cat is bestowing this assistance when the animal promptly positions itself right in the middle of your materials and proceeds to lie down.

The Kitty Cabinet Convention

Every now and then, you may accidentally stumble upon cats who are conducting official kitty business at the highest levels. The cats you see here are clearly engaged in an important group task, and they’re the only ones who know the end goal.

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Photo Courtesy: @Richard_Kadrey/Twitter

Should you ever accidentally commit the blunder of showing up while such a meeting is underway, it's best to apologize and walk away. Sometimes what happens deep within the reaches of a kitchen cabinet is best left within that kitchen cabinet. Merely wave, wish the participants well and know that the conversation doesn’t concern you.

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Liquid Cat Does Not Care

While we as humans understand the limitations of small spaces well, cats are universally and morally opposed to accepting such concepts. In fact, cats everywhere see small spaces as nothing short of personal challenges and have become wildly adept at conquering them.

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Photo Courtesy: @SpotTheLoon2010/Twitter

Due to their heroism and determination in the face of such odds, cats have, over time, developed the ability to liquefy at will. Understand that a small box, vase or any other container lying about may become an invitation for your cat to defy all known laws of physics.

An Amazing Vantage Point

Another of the infinite advantages of being a cat is the ability to make literally anything into an impromptu perch. Always be aware of your cat's need to know everything that happens in your household. Selecting the highest possible perch is often the most effective means for a cat to achieve this goal.

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Photo Courtesy: @EliiMckenzie/Twitter

Upon finding the perfect perch, your cat may be loath to give up the spot, even when you offer treats. Many an astounded cat-parent has spent hours searching for their beloved companion, only to find the kitty occupying a perch too unique to disturb.

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This Priceless Maintenance Report

Over the years, dogs have managed to gain the reputation of being four-legged alarm systems. Many a cat has found itself disturbed by the idea that its kind has been labeled the less-faithful guardian. Some have even decided to set about doing their best to correct this erroneous thinking.

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Photo Courtesy: @quiet_ellie/Twitter

The cat you see here had had enough of the misconceptions and decided to demonstrate his abilities on an unsuspecting repairman. His fur-mom arrived home that night to discover that her cat had taken a stand for no other reason than to prove that he could.

This Rampaging Kitten

For years, cats roamed the untamed wilderness where they bravely faced off against a wide variety of enemies. Though many have now decided to accept positions as house cats, their proclivity for attacking indoor dangers remains faithfully intact. What enemies does the average indoor cat face?

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Photo Courtesy: wolfyneyda/Twitter

There are many. Some cats prefer to attack everything, just in case. Should they encounter anything that hangs, dangles or in any way appears shreddable, most cats prefer to destroy first and ask questions later.

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I'll Just Lie...Here

The many freedoms that cats enjoy are perhaps nowhere more unrestricted than when it comes to lying around. Among the most sacred duties of kittykind, you must allow the lounging to commence anywhere your cat deems appropriate.

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Photo Courtesy: @stluis_htx/Twitter

The idea of being forbidden to lie in any space or upon any surface is one foreign to cats and will be met with displays of intense protest. Though you may even occasionally find parts of yourself being dubbed a cat's desired landing spot, you must always trust the cat's judgment in these matters.

A Bat Revoked

Among the other most important activities cats do is the "bat." The bat is achieved when a kitty randomly smacks, touches or otherwise places its paw upon another object. Among the biggest misconceptions among cat-lovers everywhere is the idea that some objects are off-limits for batting.

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Photo Courtesy: @_sophocles_/Twitter

Cats will assure you that this assumption is folly. Here, we see a cat that was interrupted mid-bat during an attempt to protect his owner from a plate full of suspicious treats. The look on his face demonstrates the judgment you may incur should you dare interrupt a bat session.

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Ain't Nobody Got Time for Tap

In case it wasn't immediately clear the first time you ever laid your eyes on a cat, kitties were made for the finer things in life. The fact that their kind were once worshipped in Egypt has never been lost on them and is a standard they still encourage humans to uphold.

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Photo Courtesy: @jennastoya/Twitter

Should you ever attempt to present your kitty with a sacrilege like tap water while you enjoy filtered, your sin will not go unnoticed. If not corrected, your cat may be forced to take things into its own paws, like this furry friend did.

Water Bottle Cat Does What He Wants

While you may be tempted to believe this is yet another protest from a cat presented with tap water, this photo actually teaches another important lesson. Anyone who really understands the laws of kitty-dom knows that there’s no cat in this photo at all, for the kitty in it is brilliantly hidden.

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Photo Courtesy: @bbybellsz/Twitter

Though you may be tempted to acknowledge the fact that the spot he has selected is see-through, this is really a huge slight to his stealth skills. If they think they’re hiding, cats must always be considered absolutely invisible.

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Attention Please

A word about bringing a new kitten into your home: While you may be tempted to chronicle every adorably fluffy moment of your new friend's kittenhood, take care to shower just as much attention on any existing cats.

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Photo Courtesy: @veganmattison/Twitter

Cats run on praise. Granting a new kitten special favors in the attention department may result in annoying or angering your older furballs. This may earn you sly bats or other ploys for attention, all of which are best avoided.

This Kitty Requires Your Assistance

As we all know, cats are incapable of making mistakes of any kind. This does not, however, mean that some of their perfectly plotted antics don’t require your assistance. The kitty you see here has undertaken a random and brilliant adventure into the uncharted territory between a sliding glass door and screen door.

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Photo Courtesy: @dylan_smith58/Twitter

While his owner may have interpreted his resulting meows as an announcement that he was stuck, nothing could be further from the truth. He simply expected her to drop whatever she was doing and contribute to the venture by kindly returning him to the ground.

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Partners in Crime

If you're expecting a new child, rest assured that your cat is already prepared to teach them everything a new human should know. The responsibilities of a baby and a cat are wildly similar, and your cat will instinctively be ready to share its wealth of wisdom.

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Photo Courtesy: @Cyb4rGal/Twitter

Whether it’s achieving the perfect peek out of a low window, mastering the art of screaming for food or demanding you meet every need immediately, your cat has mastered them all. Don't be surprised if the cat proves to be the perfect teacher (or purr-fessor?) for your baby.

Christmas Kitty Crashes the Party

Though occasionally considered aloof or judgmental, you'll never find a bigger fan of Christmas than the cat. Cats everywhere faithfully await the approach of December, when their humans finally realize the wisdom of constructing them tiny, cat-sized houses filled with other divine beings.

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Photo Courtesy: @karinaB98/Twitter

While we may assume they’re incapable of understanding the significance of a nativity scene, nothing could be further from the truth. The cat you see here is one of many who each year take their places alongside some of the most celebrated figures in history. This is exactly where every cat belongs.

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It's Not What It Looks Like

Upon returning home earlier than expected, you may encounter what at first appears to be a questionable display. The cat here assures you that everything is not only under control but is also exactly as it should be.

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Photo Courtesy: @ordaanraex/Twitter

While his human may have mistaken this for a crazy antic, the cat later explained that he was simply interrupted while undertaking a matter of utmost importance. The blinds you see him suspended in had clearly committed some unnamed sin, and he was taking control of the situation before it got out of hand.

Camo Kitty Goes Stealth Mode

Kitties have been known for centuries to possess many strange and magical powers. Their ability to achieve ninja-like levels of stealth in an instant is one of the most celebrated. Masters of disguise, cats can use everyday objects to render themselves invisible at a moment's notice.

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Photo Courtesy: @Matthew_Tynan/Twitter

While you may find it hard to believe that there's a cat present in this image, look closer beneath the box of tissues. The trained eye may be able to detect the scant evidence of the cat utilizing it as a clever disguise.

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Just Hangin' Out

Cats always have your best interests at heart, and it's therefore essential to them to make sure that everyone you encounter knows that you belong to them. After careful consideration, cats decided that one of the best ways to achieve this outcome is decorating every piece of clothing you own with fur.

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Photo Courtesy: @darthweger/Twitter

Should you fail to see the wisdom in such tactics, your cat may be forced to get creative. Here you'll find a cat whose misguided owner attempted to shed his carefully placed furs with the help of a lint roller.

Kitty vs. Christmas Tree

One of the reasons that cats are notoriously festive around the holidays comes from the yearly appearance of Christmas trees in their owners’ homes. Cats insist that they invented this tradition and still assume that people uphold it each year for their pleasure.

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Photo Courtesy: @EmVanDommelen/Twitter

After all, cats have given up a lot to come indoors and keep us happy. Surely it's not too much to ask to give them a yearly reminder of the great outdoors. Best of all, most owners even remember to deck the trees out in shiny toys for their cats’ amusement.

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Catnip Kitty Raises the Roof

If you know the feeling of coming home after a long day, then you already know how your cat feels when you bust out the catnip. After a hard day of lying in various places, shredding toilet paper and staring out your front window at falling leaves, cats too are ready for a break from it all.

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Photo Courtesy: @DannyTanner/Twitter

The appearance of catnip is always appreciated, as is your understanding of any random behaviors it may inspire. What? Haven't you ever seen a guy relaxing with his paws in the air before?

Chicken Cat

Here we have a rare photo that shows a variety of cats’ many gifts all being displayed at once. First of all, this cat has clearly chosen to help his owner with the cooking. Yet he's also invoking the art of lying around — in the most elegantly random of places.

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Photo Courtesy: @sjschauer/Twiitter

Last but not least, he's brilliantly camouflaged himself as an egg. Such is his stealth that no enemy stands a chance at uncovering his location. This kitty has allowed us a glimpse into what a rare and glorious creature he is.

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Double Tasking

Among the most convenient skills of cats is their ability to multitask. The little guy you see here has defied all expectations by managing to get his claws caught in not one but two items at the same time.

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Photo Courtesy: @aktfps/Twitter

While he insists that the whole idea was a carefully orchestrated display of his ability, he also invites anyone who’s interested to help him unhook. Such efforts will doubtless be rewarded with copious purring as he celebrates the alliance between humans and catdom throughout the centuries.